How to break the diving etiquette rules and be as annoying as possible
We all like to have a nice relaxing day out scuba diving, but certain things annoy fellow divers so be sure to break these diving etiquette rules if you want to be the most hated person on the boat
1. Be late
Start the day by enjoying a leisurely breakfast ad wandering into the dive centre half an hour late with no apology. You will be greeted by your disgruntled team of fellow divers
2 Spread out
There is no a lot of room on a boat if you spread your gear everywhere causing other divers to have to move your bag or mask to sit down, you are going to make yourself very popular – NOT!
3 Stir it up
Overweight yourself and plummet to the sandy bottom, then kick up the sand as you take off, or better still do it after you have just got a great macro shot leaving a dust cloud as the subject for the next photographer.
4 Keep on finning!
Slow and relaxed is how most people like to dive, so finning like mad and going as fast as possible will not only chew your air quicker, making it a shorter dive for everyone, but it will annoy the hell out of your dive guide that is trying to stay at the front of the group. Better still keep finning on a drift dive!
5 Be Noisy!
Bang your tanks like a lunatic when you see a pufferfish, or better still buy one of those really noisy underwater airhorns, other divers love them!
6 Touch everything
Take only photos and leave only bubbles, is the motto of 99% of divers so if you touch poke and prod, expect to get wrapped over the knuckles with a pointy stick.
7 Feed the fish!
Throw the remainder of your lunch overboard or better still your cigarette butt, you may be following shortly afterwards though.
Pee in your wetsuit and keep it on between dives creating a great aroma for all those sitting around you.
9 Blow dry!
Your dustcap needs to be dried, so crank your tank fully open to do it for at least 30 seconds to deafen everyone on the boat.
10 Hog the subject
Got an underwater camera? Make sure that you spend as long as possible hogging your special subject, then use sudden jerky movements as you move away to scare it back in its hole, so that no one else can get a shot.
11 Be a bore
Of course everyone on the boat wants to know your complete diving history, dive by dive.
12 Tight Arse
And of course at the end of the day, don’t tip your divemaster
Follow this diving etiquette set of rules and you are sure to be the most unpopular scuba diver on the boat.
However if you do follow the ‘normal’ diving etiquette then you are welcome to join Diving Indo on our daily Bali dive trips